How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
