you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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