I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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