just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize