Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
