I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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