Need sex. Gaining weight.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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