hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
