I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
