how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
