I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
