i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
