Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
