Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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