omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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