And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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