While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
