Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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