This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
