I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
