They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize