just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize