we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
