Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
How does one acquire holy water?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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