question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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