it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
