I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
