The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
