it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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