my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
