I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
