So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
