Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
