he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
