What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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