Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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