after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
