just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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