My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
