i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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