I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you traded sex for a burrito?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
