So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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