i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
