Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
So here I am, sexting at work.
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