i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You pole danced in your parka.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
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