Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
