If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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