Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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