Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
