Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
