i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Randomize
