They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
