i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize