I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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