I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize