The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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