Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize