Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
