Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
