Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
