My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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