were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
