You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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