i don't like sucking hair
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
