dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
