i would punch a child for taco bell
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
